Saturday, July 21, 2007

Passion within the heart, chaos within the mind

The feelings of the heart and the thoughts of the mind often cause an inner conflict within us all. This column is a follow up to the previous Drown in the ocean or rise from the ashes. It contains thoughts and notions that are owed to someone important to me. The column left them perplexed and concerned. However these are thoughts I believe all should reflect on from time to time.
At a point where my life seems to be being pulled in all directions and I did not know what to do. It has put my mind and heart at odds. So I have made a choice to follow a path without much preconceived thought and respond to the events as they come. Mainly to see where this pursuit will lead me but also I believe it will revel new depths of my character. Also the opportunity to invest in someone I probably wouldn’t have previously had I not chosen this course of action.
Every new day I get a weird feeling of uncertainty and then reflect on it but then I feel I end up running from these thoughts, not wanting to confront them. Eventually I will have to come face to face with them, but I guess that I am hoping that my mind and heart will come to some sort of reconciliation on a sub conscious level, which I sincerely doubt they will.
This brings about the notion of that whenever we are confronted with inner conflict we initially think or say “I don’t want to deal with it right now.” However does putting to off really make it any better? My opinion is conflicted with points on both sides.
Yes putting it off is beneficial in the respect it gives us the opportunity to organize our thoughts and reflect upon them. However putting it off can make us more anxious to confront them. Running from them causes stress and possible heartache to those who wait on our responses. If we respond too quickly, it may be a knee jerk response to our natural programming and when this is done we pass up the opportunity to learn something about ourselves. But again switching back what if there is nothing new to learn, that we already know answer that dwells within us.
So what is the right course of action to take? I think that every situation is different but we must be careful in how we respond, because again we are responsible for every action, word and thought that comes from ourselves. In this particular case I have run what the correct course of action to do through my head so much that it has created chaos, but I cannot ignore this whisper in my heart. I have always wanted to be a person who lived by a hybrid of action both of the heart and mind, rather than going with one or the other. Most times I have achieved that harmony but this current event has put me at war with myself. What I am more concerned with is the person that will be caught in the crossfire. We don’t want the people we care about to get hurt by our confusion and inner conflict.
So how do we protect them while saving ourselves? Only time can tell, giving yourself time to reflect will help and the people involved in our conflicts if they truly care will give us the opportunity to think it out, but we must not keep them dangling on a string. The person involved in my conflict has given me the option to think things out and I am truly grateful. When in a position of not knowing what to our best option is, all we can do is just go with it and handle each situation as it arrives, not over-think and wait to see where we arrive in the end.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Time does manage to reveal all things... Someone once told me how precious life can be, especially if someone you truly care about is taken away. Knowing this; realizing this- makes it important to take advantage of today and of those things you hold most dear. Today is here - tomorrow may not ever come. I don't say this to be pessimistic but rather to understand the importance of living for today and making the most of every single day of your life! On the contrary dear friend, you should never live to regret. So regarding your particular struggle, live, LOVE and laugh with all that you have. That way, no matter what the outcome, you can say that you have learned and grown and this will be the greatest outcome of all. - Jerzey

Anonymous said...

My dear Piehole,
Right now you are one choice away from a new beginning - one that leads you toward becoming the fullest human being you are. It's scary and exciting, its nerve wracking and beautiful, but whatever the emotion, embrace it and except it. Because security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the men and women as a whole experience it, and avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. I guess what I am trying to tell you is seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive! And listen to that inner voice which says, "This is the real me," and when you have found that attitude, follow it. Anyone is lucky to have you and share this experience with you.