Moving!!!

Hello all! I am now moving my blog to wordpress.org

http://thephoenixcolumn.wordpress.com/

Should I stay or should I go. I have been playing around with the blogging site wordpress and really like but I like my blogger...hmmm

After falling into ourselves, will you be sucked into the sky

Love has an interesting affect on us. It guides us, confuses us, loses us, and holds us to ourselves. Best of all it makes us happy.
What about when we fall though. In the respect to a certain Lovedrug song it says "I wanna make you happy but I have fallen, I'm sorry" why is it that we fall in love and fall during love? Is it human nature? A character flaw? For none of us are perfect....

Somethings happen because they happen not because we necessarily have any control on them. The hands of time don't slow their dance around the numeric code just for us to perceive everything around us. Sometimes we don't see them happening, because love alters focus and there is nothing wrong with that.
Because when it comes down to it, all everyone wants is to be loved and love in return. Wear your shields and masks if you must, but it is true. However one cannot put everything into a relationship and sacrifice themselves as individuals in the process. For if you lose yourself you may lose the person who is in love with you.
They may pull away from you. Not because they hate you but because they fell in love with you, your personality, your dependence, your smile and your laugh...if you cease to be these things, well the elements of the relationship change.
Though the classic phrase "it takes two to tango" is a statement tried and true to any relationship. A person in a relationship is bound to change a little, it is foolish to think they wont. Relationships present us with new possibilities and new desires. The desire to see the one you love succeed and be happy becomes very important. However the other must see the same for you otherwise things can become inadequate. These desires cause us to reorient our goals a little. However they should not require us to do a 180.
So do not lose your head in a relationship, being completely co-dependent on someone is not attractive. If you don't understand when these types of conversations enter your lives take a moment to look at yourself...is your shadow laughing at you?
Do not make the mistake of so many and become known just a someone's relation.
A relationship should yes be one of the top focuses but not the only focus in your life.
For those who have seen the one you care for start to lose themselves in the relationship...perhaps there is something you caused or maybe all you have to do is bring it to attention. When a person loves you they understand that type of criticism is to help them, so as to help yourself and the relationship.
A key thing that we all must do, is to give it a chance and have a little patience. As the ever optimist because the life of a pessimist is far too bleak for me- life has enough hardships in it-look for the good ones.
Let that person know of the changes, then let them decide if they wanted those changes or if they want to get back. There may be some crucial and very important reason why the shift happened. Do give them the chance to get back to themselves though....Love them enough to let them get back to the way things were, so that both can be happy again.
Love is ....complicated....some days those who have our hearts can hurt us the most and then there are days they makes us smile till our face falls off.
Always remember that in the end those you love and love you, are the most important and will be there when you start to feel like your going to be sucked into the sky.

Hey all, I am going to be writing a new column for The Arbiter, it needs to corralate history with current events. Give me your thoughts

So I now have the capability to post on the go. So hopefully no more excuses. Haha

Prometeus

So as I am finally going to hopefully be able to start posting new blogs here. My first one is my thoughts on this video that I discovered on youtube. (love that thing) The video is called Prometeus The Media Revolution(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj8ZadKgdC0).
This video talks about the change in the future of the media. It is rather disturbing how accurate this video could be, but at the same time very cool.
One point the video touches on is the change in communication and interaction amongst the individual. It touches on the aspect of the creation of Second Life-which I hate..mostly due to functionality issues. Great idea though. However I begin to wonder when the individual who uses the Second Life or World of Warcraft as that being their reality....this concerns me. While yes visually aesthetic it is still not reality.
Look at the real world. You hear actual real sounds of life. While yes in these virtual one can here birds chirp and hear the wind, but you can not feel it. There is a certain realism when you hear a bird near by chirp. And the feeling of the wind swirling around you. But screw nature, what about interaction with your friends and loved ones. Messaging on a server has to feel a little one-sided. The experience of physical touch is something that can not be reproduced artificially. Well yet anyways, and even then I have a feeling it will still not be close enough to the real thing. The feeling of someones heart beat or pulse or body heat. There is nothing like it.
So why would and individual want to live a vast majority of their life in a virtual world? ..Ok before I go off any futher, I am guilty of playing in these online worlds. The games and fantasy like WOW, Fiesta, and others ;) are a blast. However I know when to turn it off and do my homework, go out with friends and socialize.
However the are people who lose themselves completely to these worlds. Students fail school, couples end, friends disappear. False identities are created- there are people who only consider their lives is able to be lived online.
My thought is if we are going to have these dual lives, that every individual knows which is their real life. I am Ryan, a journalist student and human being, not a earth wizard in a fantasy land. I only play (emphasis on play!) When I have some free time to entertain my imagination. There is a clear boundary. If you don't know where that line is then you had better find it. Because if the power goes out on you ...then the world you think is real is stopped, what will you do then?

Absent!

Unfortunately I have been so busy with school and my journalism at The Arbiter that I have been unable to write for the column. If you are wanting to see what I have been writing, go to arbiteronline.com. I will hopefully be able to write a few columns this break.

To forgive is to be forgiven

During a recent conversation over coffee with a vivacious vixen we discussed many facts of life. She also gave me her thoughts on one of my previous columns No shame is shameful have you heard of dignity. In this column I cried out against people not having any hubris for their actions and not having shame. This brought about another aspect of the column that I hadn’t though about and that was forgiveness.
The vixen offered insight that people sometimes have too much shame and will not forgive themselves for their actions. This comment struck me with much surprise that I had not thought of this sooner. While the concept has always existed to me I hadn’t given it credit while writing that particular column.
We all have made mistakes that we feel there is no forgiveness for. Whether it has been personal harm to someone we care for or something that is detrimental to ourselves. Sometimes there are things we can never take back; those actions may leave wounds that will never heal. That is the ramification of mistakes. We all have scars that will forever remind us of being hurt. I find it ironic that the people we love most bring on the deepest wounds.
When we are unable to forgive ourselves even if it is really not our own fault or the person harmed has forgiven us, it begins to pile up on our conscience. What do we do then? Turn to a life of working to a state of redemption? Or do we let it wear on us till we fall into a chasm of despair? The better thought is that one can hopefully forgive and move on. We all have the capacity to forgive those who caused harm and pain to us. We also have the capacity to forgive ourselves for our own regrets. When we finally do forgive the next question is do we actually do it? Even if we say the words “I forgive you” do we actually mean it? That I believe is for something based on each and everyone’s unique personality. Whether they are truly letting go of the mistake and growing from it, or letting it dwell within them like and underlining poison.
In the end we are given two options “forgive and move on” or “don’t forgive and go on living in a jaded pain”. What is the purpose of living on in pain I ask you, other than to keep us wary of a repeat performance in pain and tragedy. However having that dense of guard can block us from seeing the amazing things in front of us.
Eventually we have to take the chance and trust. I tried living in a life of not trusting anyone and keeping them at a permanent arms length… I don’t recommend it. I don’t want to die a life of loneliness. So try to forgive those who wronged you, I agree some acts are unforgivable but not letting the acts that are forgivable is only holding ourselves back and holds those who truly matter away from us.
We must also remember that even thought the people who hurt us the worst are the people who can heal those wounds the best.

Passion within the heart, chaos within the mind

The feelings of the heart and the thoughts of the mind often cause an inner conflict within us all. This column is a follow up to the previous Drown in the ocean or rise from the ashes. It contains thoughts and notions that are owed to someone important to me. The column left them perplexed and concerned. However these are thoughts I believe all should reflect on from time to time.
At a point where my life seems to be being pulled in all directions and I did not know what to do. It has put my mind and heart at odds. So I have made a choice to follow a path without much preconceived thought and respond to the events as they come. Mainly to see where this pursuit will lead me but also I believe it will revel new depths of my character. Also the opportunity to invest in someone I probably wouldn’t have previously had I not chosen this course of action.
Every new day I get a weird feeling of uncertainty and then reflect on it but then I feel I end up running from these thoughts, not wanting to confront them. Eventually I will have to come face to face with them, but I guess that I am hoping that my mind and heart will come to some sort of reconciliation on a sub conscious level, which I sincerely doubt they will.
This brings about the notion of that whenever we are confronted with inner conflict we initially think or say “I don’t want to deal with it right now.” However does putting to off really make it any better? My opinion is conflicted with points on both sides.
Yes putting it off is beneficial in the respect it gives us the opportunity to organize our thoughts and reflect upon them. However putting it off can make us more anxious to confront them. Running from them causes stress and possible heartache to those who wait on our responses. If we respond too quickly, it may be a knee jerk response to our natural programming and when this is done we pass up the opportunity to learn something about ourselves. But again switching back what if there is nothing new to learn, that we already know answer that dwells within us.
So what is the right course of action to take? I think that every situation is different but we must be careful in how we respond, because again we are responsible for every action, word and thought that comes from ourselves. In this particular case I have run what the correct course of action to do through my head so much that it has created chaos, but I cannot ignore this whisper in my heart. I have always wanted to be a person who lived by a hybrid of action both of the heart and mind, rather than going with one or the other. Most times I have achieved that harmony but this current event has put me at war with myself. What I am more concerned with is the person that will be caught in the crossfire. We don’t want the people we care about to get hurt by our confusion and inner conflict.
So how do we protect them while saving ourselves? Only time can tell, giving yourself time to reflect will help and the people involved in our conflicts if they truly care will give us the opportunity to think it out, but we must not keep them dangling on a string. The person involved in my conflict has given me the option to think things out and I am truly grateful. When in a position of not knowing what to our best option is, all we can do is just go with it and handle each situation as it arrives, not over-think and wait to see where we arrive in the end.

Drown in an ocean or rise from the ashes

Passion, love, lust, hate, trust and fear… all of these traits rain havoc on our lives. They give us joy and security. Everyday these emotions put us face to face with the decision of what to do. Challenges of who to trust, who to love, who to believe, and who we are going to be. Our morals, faith, ideas are constantly put to the test by this world. These challenges are countless as the shining stars above.
All my life has been this fight, a constant battle, as I am sure everyone else faces these hardships as well. This is by no means a rant upon a soapbox while striking the harmonious strings of a violin but more of a thought in the search for answers.
During the course of battle we gain ground, but we also lose ground and stumble and fall. Other times we are so weary and confused we no longer know what to do next. Or we’ve fallen so hard we don’t want to get up. These conflicts are brought on by our own use of passion, love, lust, hate, trust and fear.
Whether work, friends, family, lovers, school, or careers cause the conflict, these conflicts beat at our shields and barriers constantly till we are broken and bloody. They are not what will destroy us they aren’t meant that, the conflicts want our destroyers to be ourselves for us to give up. What about those of the prior listing, can they help…will they. What if we pull them down too or what if they are key to victory? It is not the purpose of family, friends and lovers to bring us to our knees. In fact they are very much meant for the fight against our battles. They help heal our wounds and prop us up when fallen. But as known to all many times they are also the hardest battle.
What do we do then? Do we permanently give up? That’s not and option…at least not for this warrior and I hope that isn’t an option for my fellow warriors. Do we run, give in and sacrifice and how do we know that giving in will be a sacrifice? Perhaps it may be a benefit to others and ourselves. Do we stand strong unwavering like red woods? But with our unwavering we may miss the great things that are placed in front of us. Do we take the new challenge run with it and make a reformation after the fact? Then after that reformation to find if we are satisfied with that change or not.
When facing new aspects in life we have options of how we can respond. We can respond blindly, convolutely, intelligently, mechanically, passionately, rationally, or violently. We must take into serious account these notions of passion, love, hate, trust, and fear. For they are what shape our conflicts and joys. They are such delicate notions, with the power to destroy hearts. If we are not cautious we end up hurting ourselves and more importantly those close us.
Still what is that will bring us to our decisions when we are lost, at the breaking point… can we make the right decision? Or do we even just give up because we are so unsure? This I believe is the hardest of conflicts when we are not given an A and B option.
Life is hard, passion, love and trust cause us great pain and joy. They are a double-edged sword. So the final question that remains is what do we do?
Even at our darkest hour, we have the option to drown in the ocean, or be like the phoenix and rise from the ashes. How will you fight this battle called life?...

Editor's Note

With a recent bout of challenges in life I have been unable to write for The Phoenix Column I have been very busy working on other projects with The Arbiter, so I will be posting a new column later today.

No shame is shameful, have you heard of dignity

A recent bout of Hollywood responses to a young starlet wrecking her care while being induced with narcotics has shown another fault line that is getting worse and worse in society. Her family and friends are not showing any shame for themselves and are defending all of the actions this starlet made. There is one thing in defending those you love but you don’t help when you defend them on something that is destructive to themselves and those around them.
This is something that shows society is not holding people to their actions. The associates of the starlet are all implying that her actions are ok and it’s not a big deal.
It is a huge deal people, the public for whatever twisted means look to Hollywood stars as if they were Greek gods. The public then comes down with a major case of monkey see monkey do.
As for a certain hotel heiress who thinks she shouldn’t have to serve time, someone really needs to get her something for that verbal diarrhea. Why cant she do prison time for her crimes how is she better than the rest of the public. On top of the fact that news is covered this topic under “breaking news” is something to be disturbed by, but I digress.
Are we now becoming a society that will let the actions of the wealthy, popular and beautiful get away without punishment for their wrong doings?
The media-made aristocrats are not showing much repentance for their actions, which in turn the public itself is not having any shame. Even the phrase “boys will be boys!” is used an excuse for their wrongdoing. So say a group of teenage boys rape a young girl and then try to cover it up. Even though that would never happen in America (insert sarcasm here.) They are then excused from having to be shamed of these acts because they were “just being boys”? Or the fact we let our young girls dress like hood-rats and not show any respect for themselves, but we let it pass because they are learning to become women… Um, the women I know who dress like that work a certain trade job that involve a lot of streets, “sugar” and “designer boyfriends”. Which is everything a mother and father want for their daughter. (Sarcasm again)
Parents don’t want to say anything, because it would hinder on their child’s choices of their own life and their freedoms…. that is why you’re the parent and whole role model thing because you hopefully have more maturity and knowledge of life skills. Not always is the case.
I am all for the concept of children learning by mistake. Some moments in life that have made me grow most as a person were by mistakes but there is some things that have to be ingrained into them so they don’t make worse decisions later down the road.
The thought of “acting without shame lets you truly express yourself” is pure ludicrous. Shame keeps us honest and make us true, if you have no shame what is to hold you from not telling a copious number of lies or engaging in actions that no longer present yourself as a true person but as a pure charlatan.
It would seem that those who do not have shame have a total disregard for those around them, the “non-shameful” view themselves as not having to answer to no one but themselves and that others are below them. They apparently don’t realize that they do have an effect on others and should be held to there actions.
If we would all show a little hubris then we could see the faults that bring shame to ourselves. For though we may feel mighty and untouchable and able to do whatever we may, we must always remember that the Romans the greatest civilization in history thus far…fell.

Editors Note

Yes, I know this first column was rank with grammatical errors, I posted quickly just to have somthing up, first draft wrote in ten minutes however I believe I have fixed it all and now is ready to be harrassed and thought on by you. Thanks for reading and check back next week for a new column.

This world is afraid

People usually only have moments of where they think something is “crazy” but won’t speak out on it. In the world we live in, life has now become faster, more pressured and overall chaotic. We have become a society of finding a more complicated reason or shifting blame and not taking responsibility.
In the city I currently reside in there recently have been murders left and right. What possesses a person to think they can perform these bizarre and evil acts? We have had people kill each other for all sorts of reasons many are unexplained, yet still there is a search to place blame. My thought is what a person can’t be decided as just “evil/crazy”? Must we always have some long drawn out explanation that eventually puts the blame on someone else? The person who committed the act made a choice, regardless of the history, they still made their choice. 
Another multi-murder was said to be a lovers quarrel...so they decided that the only way it could be settled was to kill each other.... hmmm something hear screams that both parties were not playing with a full deck. However though neither of them are placing blame on the other. (Smirk)

On a national level, what leads a person to do what was done at Virginia Tech. (My heart still goes out to all of you at VT) Is it the way this kid was treated, was it video and T.V. violence, family life or something more. Everyone wants a reason why someone acts in this way so they can put their hate, guilt and heartache on. Put it on that person! Not something in their past. This society should try harder to hold people to their actions. Think about when people are drunk, they make some mistake and they expect that the excuse "I was drunk" or " I don’t remember much of the night" will qualify as an answer. Please!!! Those responses are cop-outs!
Our society has let a passing excuse alleviate people from having to own up to his or her actions, letting someone or something else be the cause for blame. This then allows people to get a learned behavior of that they can get away with horrid crimes and go unpunished because it was really the person’s parents or people around them who are the ones at fault. 
Whilst these things are factors of our decisions we still make a choice.
When making a choice be ready to stand on your convictions or be ready to see another point of view, but don’t be wishy-washy. If a person doesn’t stand for anything because they don’t want to make waves or are not held to their convictions then what are they...empty? Who are they!? It is said that actions speak louder than words. Which most believe to be true and if people were held accountable for their actions and responses then they would change their attitudes and actually use that mushy thing between their ears and think about how they convey themselves to the world. Those who say that they care not for what the public thinks of them, need to realize while yes this makes you independent and original, the world will still pass judgment and those judgments will affect your life even when you think it won’t. It is our actions verbal and nonverbal that define us. 

This world has become so afraid of stepping on toes or offending someone that people no longer stand for what they believe in. Compromise is all good and well but what about being an individual? What are we all to become mindless amoebas? 

Think about your actions, you do affect someone else’s choice in some small degree. Will you be responsible for their actions no! Not unless you’re a puppet master and if so let me know how you do it- it will help me patent the concept of world domination (insert sarcasm here). The next time we see something that challenges our integrity, we need to speak up! You see someone who maybe needs a compliment to lift his or her day, offer one. Lets make the day to day more enjoyable for people. Also hold people to their actions if they are held to them it will cause them to think twice when acting. To many mistakes are made over and over because people don’t think before they act or do not hold strong to those convictions. Let’s quit that, huh?

Check This

So all this last couple years I have been a news writer for the Arbiter at BSU but now am wanting to branch out and use some more of my personality and creativity. So I attempted my first opinion article, check it let me know what you think. Just do a copy and paste into your address bar.

http://media.www.arbiteronline.com/media/storage/paper890/news/2007/04/23/Opinion/Chivalry.Is.Dead.Respect.Is.Fading-2873012.shtml

Welcome

Welcome to The Phoenix Column, this is a column established to let me show the world what I am made of and give me the oppertunity to write to enhance my journalism career, and will be updates weekly, but I would love to here responses on topics.